40s@5

Direct to DVD = Direct to 40s

“I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer”

Plot Synopsis: A group of teens accidentally kill a fellow friend in a 4th of July prank. They all band together and decide to take there secret to the grave. Little do they know that they really will be taking there secret quite literally to the grave as one year later there secret comes back for revenge. Can they work out who’s killing them off one by one or will they all take there secret to the grave……………..DUN……DUN……DUNNNNNNNN.

Technology has caught up w/ our heros. The “I know what you did last summer” messages come via text messages. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh everyone put away your blackberries!

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The LightHouse brought one of our greatest movies today…Modern Vampires.

The cast was great!! A wetdream for Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

[Here is leather and a knife we never get to see!]

The Man - Rod Steiger [died in 2002]. In such famous films as Doctor Zhivago , In the Heat of the Night with Sidney Poitier, The Longest Day , F.I.S.T , and Mars Attacks! My favorite role = Jud in Oklahoma!.

Also Casper Van Dien (6th out of 7 Caspers, and married to Princess Catherine Oxenberg, whose 1st acting coach was reportedly Richard Burton).

Natasha Gregson Wagner - named after mom, Natalie Wood (died in 81 ), step-dad = Robert Wagner. It’s said she debuted in Buffy the Vampire Slayer - so had a taste for Vamp movies. Been in Urban Legend.

Kim Cattrall = loving the vamp-turning sex! She’s been in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Porky’s, Police Academy, Mannequin and done “Starsky and Hutch”, the “The Incredible Hulk” and “Charlie’s Angels”! She was in and produced Kim Catrall: Sexual Intelligence and written some sex books. We love Kim!

Natasha Lyonne - our fav crazy actor.

Craig Ferguson - nutty scot, better known for Drew Carey show. More recently in Vampire Bats with Lucy Lawless (aka Xena).

Gabriel Casseus, a busy actor. [Lots of tv, Black Hawk Down, Bedazzled, Fallen with Denzel, Lone Star].

Robert Pastorelli - yes, Murphy Brown’s painter. Accidental od in ‘04. Also did stage work - e.g., Streetcar with Glenn Close.

Natalya Andrejchenko - the horny, preg vamp. Was married to Maximilian Schell (famous actor/director - oscar for Judgment at Nuremberg, in The Young Lions with Marlon, John Carpenter’s Vampires and godfather of Angelina Jolie). Now I SWEAR Van Helsing yelled “MAX SCHELL” as a curse or something sometime during the movie.

Boris Lee Krutonog has been in lots. ["Alias", "Curb Your Enthusiasm", The Italian Job, The Hunt for Red October, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country].

Marco Hofschneider = Hans. In Urban Legen - Final Cut, The Island of Dr. Moreau (with Marlon!), tv series Chick Soup for Soul, which Rodalso did an episode.

Flex, aka Trigger. OH YEAH. He’s gonna be in Snakes on a Plane!!!!!

Cop #1, Robert Peters - was in “Sex and the City” a few times! And “Angel” (more vamps). And Sodapop, Victor Togunde, was in “Bones“, with David Boreanaz. Flex & Victor Togunde (Soda Pop) have both been on “Sister, Sister”. Lil Monster, Cedrik Terrell, has also done “Angel”.

The mom - Conchata Ferrell has done everything - even back to “Maude” and won an Obie and Drama Desk award. The stepdad, Brent Briscoe, is busy, busy (done Bones and Chick Soup).

Paint Huffers - Danny’s nephew, Louis Elfman, Max Schell’s nephew, Dimitri Schell (They’re in documentary about Max’s actor sister Maria - Meine Schwester Maria.)

Dick Elphman was the cop with the donut.

And the ever-famous vampire Udo Kier = His first hit film was Mark of the Devil (sounds like a 40s film!) = The film was rated “V” for violence and ticket buyers were offered vomit bags before the film started. It was banned in 31 countries but spawned two sequels (both without Kier). The film is notorious for its exploitation of sex and violence (the uncut version was remastered and re-released on video in 1997). Udo hit cult status with Flesh for Frankenstein (1973) and the sister film Blood for Dracula (1974), both rated X! [They both were re-released in '96, uncut & on DVD.] Udo was here a few years ago at Alamo. Sory I missed that!

And yes, Udo was in Madonna’s Sex book - in leather with whips!

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I saw this at SXSW (last paragraph) and now it’s out. This is one tight little actioner. The story is very lean, getting from Point A to Point B in 85 minutes, but the physical prowess of the two leads is what it’s all about b/c they do all their own stunts–no wires, no CGI. If you like parkour or Ong-Bak: the Thai Warrior, you’ll dig this.

Note to the ladies: the Mrs. loved it.

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So did anyone catch parts of the MTV Movie Awards last night, interlaced with the Mavs winning?

Well Samuel L. Jackson had the funniest little monologue. Upon announcing this year’s Best Movie award, he guaranteed that SNAKES ON A PLANE will win Best Movie next year. (Watch Samuel L. Jackson Clip Here.)

“The new James Bond…No snakes in that!
Ocean’s 13…Where my snakes at?!”

“No movie shall triumph over SNAKES ON A PLANE unless I happen to feel like making a movie called: More Mother Fuckin’ Snakes On More Mother Fuckin’ Planes!”

MMFSOMMFP!

SNAKES ON A PLANE is now synonymous with the phrase “sh!t happens!”
-Snakes on a Blog
-Urban Dictionary
-Wikipedia
-Museum of Hoaxes
-Village Voice

I have Tourette’s, and so I randomly shout out that phrase at work. SNAKES ON A PLANE! They’re finally getting used to it though…

Coming to a theater near you: 08/18/06

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If anyone is interested I got this in from Netfilx.

Urban Legends 3 that was sooooo good it had to go straight to video! IMDB You KNOW we will have drink a bloody mary if we do watch this.

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At Amazon this month (June), Warner Bros. & Amazon are holding a survey to see which 10 of 30 titles should get released on dvd. And one of them is Gymkata, which I hear made a most-excellent 40s.

So here’s the link, only for the section featuring Gymkata. Your email is required to vote.

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How bad is this movie? B.A.D. I actually watched the entire thing the other night on TBS. It was research, ya see, I thought it would be perfectly horrible for 40s.

Getting Played: Three beautiful women (Carmen Electra, Vivica Fox, and Stacy Dash) star as three smart and sexy friends fed up with being played by the men in their lives. To prove that all men are predictable and easily seduced, this hot trio decides to play by a new set of rules: They make a bet to prove that all three can seduce the same random guy.

The funniest thing to me, was near the end of the movie, she was reading this book:

I thought the book was fake until I just found it on Amazon. Ha!

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i’ve got a little list of 40’s suggestions that i’ve been compiling (jason helped - guess which ones). here goes:

can’t stop the music - village people movie!

clownhouse - horror

slumber party massacre

my bodyguard - i don’t know why

the legend of billie jean - i don’t know why not!

how high - method man & redman!

over the edge - a story of teenage rebellion with matt dillon

desperate lives - after-school special about drugs that they showed us in high school - described as “beyond-earnest, totally out of touch plot and dialogue” (yesssss!) - helen hunt on angel dust!

and these last two are a couple of gems stephen and i found @ i luv the other day:

last goodbye - here’s the quote from the cover that i had to write down - “the story of a lonely man who wants a girl that loves a rock star who needs a woman that kills vampires.” nuff said.

modern vampires (can you tell i have a thing for vampire movies?) - from the creators of FREEWAY.

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I’m getting this movie from Netfilx if you all are interested for 40s this weekend.

Revenge of the Cheerleaders

I pulled the following from Alamo Drafthouse’s website when they showed it for Something Wierd Wednesday:

Other theaters give you promises. We give you David Hasselhoff’s penis! Even if you don’t care about David Hasselhoff’s penis, you have to admit you’re just a little bit curious about what will happen at the prestigious Alamo Drafthouse Theater (hereafter referred to as “Ground Zero”) when we unveil David Hasselhoff’s penis. But there’s so much more to REVENGE OF THE CHEERLEADERS than just David Hasselhoff’s penis. This is probably the stupidest teen comedy ever made, and that’s saying something. Idiotic comedy gives way to frequent “DANCE FEVER” style dance numbers featuring the entire cast. We can’t guarantee you’ll leave the theater with the same number of IQ points you had when you walked in but we can guarantee you’ll laugh a whole lot. Plus you’ll get to see David Hasselhoff’s penis! (Lars)

The description on IMDB also says there are a lot of naked chicks too!

David Hasselhoff’s penis + naked chicks + 40s = salty goodness

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Random browsing on Netflix led me to some intriguing 40s possibilities from 1995:

Excessive Force II: Force on Force (1995)

Special agent Harly Cordell (Stacie Randall) seeks revenge against her former lover — who just happens to be a terrorist — in this ammo-packed actioner. Harly once fought alongside boyfriend Frank Lydell (Dan Gauthier) in the Gulf War, but after returning home, Frank joins up with ruthless assassins who set out to terrorize the citizens of Los Angeles. Determined to stop her ex and his gang, Harly must resort to excessive force.

Do you think there will be force?

Bloodfist 8: Hard Way Out (1995)

Kickboxing champ Don “The Dragon” Wilson is back in action as Rick Cowan, a seemingly mild-mannered high school teacher. When enemy agents kidnap Rick’s son Chris (John Patrick White), however, Rick’s mysterious past as a CIA operative is revealed, and the former agent is quickly pulled back into the world of espionage in this fight-filled extravaganza from action veteran Rick Jacobson (Black Thunder).

If it’s good enough for a 7th sequel, it’s good enough for 40s.

Black Scorpion (1995)

Joan Severance and Bruce Abbott star in this fantastical Roger Corman superhero story about a female police detective, Darcy Walker, who tires of playing by the book to catch criminals. So, she concocts an alter ego, the Black Scorpion, who haunts the streets in a tricked-out Porsche in search of scumbags who make the city mean and menacing. And the meanest of them all is the ruthless Breathtaker.

According to one of the reviews: “It is a very mediocre TV movie. Basically, it is a pretty blatant rip off of Batman only with a woman cop turned vigilante. It has pretty bad acting and a villain that looks like something out of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The biggest problem with the movie is that the cast acts like it’s a serious movie, delivering their lines like it’s a drama or something. This film eventually led to a sequel and a television show on the sci fi network which had more of a 60s Batman TV series flavor and thus was a little more enjoyable. The DVD includes upper body nudity that I imagine was not in the original broadcast… including an sex scene with the heroine topless with her mask on.”

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